*After the Rain, Comes the Rainbow*

Welcome . .

Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A hidden note, A secret crush,
A little boy who talks too much.
Well, I'm standing in the crowd,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even know my name,
You're too busy playing games,
And I want you to know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.
If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?
If I bite my lip,
If I say hello,
Will you notice me?

Diary . .

my mood is not veri pretty since yesterday...tt's wat i can say...i feel tt i'm realli a veri bad person...one who is so horrible tt i myself oso hates...i dun wan to hurt anyone...i dun wan to disappoint anyone...i dun wan anyone to be sad or unhappy...i juz wan everyone to be happy...but all those things tt i dun wan to happen had happened...& those tt i wanted to happen...is veri veri far off...i went to do the Colorgenics Test again...the results:

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.

You are not be feeling so good at this time. Everything seems to be getting on top of you. What you need is a rest from all of the the present trials and tribulations in peaceful surroundings and with someone - male or female, it doesn't really matter - who can really understand you and appreciates your needs.

You are not an argumentative sort of person and 'rather than fight - you'd switch' (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself - as sometimes you may try to do - you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you 'feel' and 'hurt' a lot.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

ya...& i certainly hope i'm crying alone...coz i rather tt i cry alone...& i wan everyone else to be happy...& stay happy......tt's wat i realli hoped for......

unwanted...
[2:01 PM]