Diary . .

haiz...veri dead today...dunno why...haiz...had a chat wif lihui the other day on the way to jurong point & back to expo & while waiting for huifen...haha...a veri long chat...lihui say last time huifen told her b4 tt i'm their little princess...hahaha...i dun rmb abt it lehz...ahha...i told lihui...u hear wrongly baz...haaa...now then i realize tt i am realli veri pampered & spoilt by ppl ard me...by my parents...my sis...& my frends......until tt i cannot handle the many problems i'm having now...not tt i'm blaming them...i'm blaming myself for not being independent enuff......then i told lihui...i think i haven let go of someone...but hav made up my mind to...i'm trying hard...coz i noe the ltr i let go & forget abt it...the harder it will be for me...i alwaiz got the correct timing...as in when to let go & forget...but this time...i guess i'm abit late...the previous times i was perfectly fine...this time is different...i will feel pain in my heart when i hear tt name...see the photo...or watever...anything related to tt person...shit...i think it will become abit messy this time round...now i'm so confused...did i actualli used him to help me forget the other one or not...i think in some extent there is this possibility...haiz...shouldnt hav tot of trying to use him to replace the other one...shouldnt hav tot of using him help me forget abt the other one...haha...i'm realli veri confused...did i actualli did tt??? maybe thinking tt i did...can help me forget faster...& make it less painful for me......haiz...i feel veri stressed up...am i giving myself too much pressure??? i dunno...my heart is in pain...pain from many things...things other than wat i juz said...things i cannot say...the load of things make me feel difficulties in breathing......i need a rest...a rest from everything...izzit a rest tt i need...or izzit tt i should change myself...change my character...change the principles i keep holding on to...change everything abt me...forget abt my fear of hurting ppl tt i care...haha...i realli dunno...nvm...dun care abt me ppl...let me be...let me figure the way out myself...currently on the verge of breaking down...so...plz...plz pardon me if i say anything bad...& anything unkind to u all...i'm realli realli realli veri veri veri sorry abt it......if i hav oredi did something bad to u all...plz forgive me......i'll try my best to control myself.......SORRY!!!